As a woman, I think we often apologize for wanting things. Like, needing time to ourselves, or wanting to spend time with friends, or wanting a new pair of shoes. And, as mothers, I think our guilt is intensified. I think we are wired to put ourselves last and feel as if we don’t deserve the best.
So, here I was in Tulum — in the pouring rain — and my room wasn’t the best. Disclaimer here: 99% of the rooms at Amansala are all really great and unique, I just got a dud. But, here I was, leading this retreat and going back to my room each night was so totally depressing. I kept thinking to myself “well, you’re working — you’re not supposed to really be enjoying yourself. I’m just happy for everyone else and glad they have good rooms.” Total crock, right. But we all do it at one time or another.
One evening we had yoga with Darlene — amazing, beautiful, instructor. And she passed out cards from Don Miguel Ruiz’ book, The Four Agreements. My card said “Find the courage to ask for what you want. Others have the right to tell you yes or no. But you always have the right to ask. Likewise, everybody has the right to ask you for what they want, and you have the right to say yes or no.” Whew! I went immediately to the desk after class and asked if I could change rooms. And you know what? They said yes! I moved up one level to the most beautiful room above the jungle with a view of the tree tops and the ocean and I felt such an incredible sense of freedom from just asking for what I want!
How often do you settle because you are afraid to ask for what you want?
P.S. That’s me up there at the top of a Mayan Pyramid — I asked someone to take my photo!