Forgiveness


The gorgeous bikini boot camp girls & I covered in Mayan Clay & honey

I promised I’d tell you about how I left my ex-husband in that beautiful sea in Tulum, so here goes . . . .

On Valentine’s day at Amansala, we woke up and on the calendar for the day read “Mayan Clay Treatment”. And I knew from past photos, that we were going to be slathering some substance all over our skin and then washing it off in the sea. I had no idea that this was going to be one of the most memorable parts of my trip.I have to admit, I was worried about my bikini. I bought it in Coral Gables and spent way too much. And now, it’s going to be covered in mayan clay and honey — It is ancient mud after all — not sure shout has a formula for that.

We dug our hands into the clay (which felt a little like poop) and began putting it all over our bodies, face and hair. We giggled as the cold clay lay on our skin — the breeze made me chilly even in the hot sun. Bikini tops began flying off as everyone’s inhibitions lowered and took mine off too. It felt way more tribal that way for sure.

Then we walked to the water’s edge and listened to Melissa (the owner, creator of Amansala) guide us through a meditation — the mud would be drawing impurities out of our body — Toxins. And that we should see the things in our life that we want to let go of as these toxins. So, anything that we were hanging onto: hurt feelings, grudges, past relationships, etc. We should see those as toxins leaving our body. She suggested we use this process as a way to forgive, a way to let things go. At this point, I am in tears. After 7 years of being divorced, I don’t think I’ve ever truly forgiven my ex-husband.

It felt so good to step into the water. The clay had dried and was now very hard on my skin. My face was frozen. And scrubbing that clay had now turned into a ceremony for me — scrubbing away my pain, and my loss was such a release. I pictured him floating away — and although a little sad, I was suddenly so energized and happy — it felt so good to let go. As the clay left my skin, I pictured new and positive things that I could now be open to because I had room for them.

I don’t think you need a vacation and a clay treatment to forgive and let go, but it sure doesn’t hurt. I will never forget that day, or the women I stood by who were all going through their own catharsis. It goes down as one of those experiences that helped create who I am today. And, if I never go back to Amansala, it will always be special to me because it gave me much more space in my heart.

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