It’s right now.

I lost my neice last week. 21 year-old-artist. Brilliant, beautiful, full of life. Plucked from my family — gone. So, at time of loss and sadness, how do you proceed? How do you move ahead? Of course I’m terribly sad and have an irreplaceable hole in my heart. But here, in this life, how does an event such as this affect my life? Well, it made me realize how I’m not living Right Now. That I am not present in my life and not present with the people I love. That I’m not present with what’s going on in our world. I’m not sure what I’m rushing to or what I’m waiting for. I know that the passing of my dear neice screamed to me that I need to embrace my life and live every moment of it like it’s my last. That I need to relish my children and the man I love. That I need to embrace my disfunctional family and love and accept them for who they are. That I’m going to use my china more often and the towels I’m saving for company and the special shoes, that I’m going to burn the now dusty candles in my house. That I’m going to make an effort in my friendships, to really be a friend. That I’m going to be more active in my children’s schools, in my community. That I’m not going to sit here and passively watch my life go by. Allegra has taught me in this sad, sad, tragic way, that my life is short and every moment needs to lived. That I need to live in the moment, that I need to live Right Now.