It’s all about attitude

I’ve been obsessed with this video from SNL. And although they are undeniably sexy, they don’t have perfect bodies. And at the end of the day, we realize that what carries us to success is our attitude. Plus check out the all girl band. They rock.

Beyonce on SNL

Do your kegels . . .

Oprah, God love the woman. She had a show last week about sex, sex therapy and a woman’s sexual anatomy. I thought this was pretty cutting edge, even for Oprah. I have always been in touch with my sexuality, and never realized that there are many many women out there that may not even be having orgasms. This, to me, is a crime, and I am here to help. All women should be able to enjoy orgasms and not feel weird about it, guilty or selfish.

Check out the footage from the show with Dr. Laura Berman and see for yourself. Oprah is very amusing.

On the show, Dr. Berman talks about the importance of kegels. We all know we should do kegels to help with incontinence, but I don’t think many people know that it actually helps you with your orgasms! Now we have a good reason to do them!

Start doing your kegels. Your ablility to do kegels will strengthen your pelvic floor muscles, and strong pelvic floor muscles enable you to have good orgasms. Check out this article on About.com for specific instructions on kegels.

So, when to do them?

Well, start by figuring out how it truly feels to do a kegel by stopping your flow of urine. Notice how deeply you have to contract. Do this only a couple times as it has been said that you could get an infection if you do it too often.

Do kegels during sex. Why not?

Do them during abdominal work. You may notice that you are contracting your transverse abdominal muscles when kegeling. This is because your transverse muscles are designed to work together with your pelvic floor muscles to give your torso internal strength. Begin all your abdominal exercise with a transverse contraction: exhale and squeeze your abdominal muscles down toward your spine and keep them engaged throughout the exercise.

Take yoga. You’ve heard “mula bandha” mentioned many times. This is basically Sanskrit for kegels. In yoga, mula bandha is the solid foundation that should underlie any movement. Check out the article in Yoga Journal

Ok, now go do your homework.

A place of your own

The Dalai Lama says “spend some time alone every day”. He’s obviously not a mother. But his advice is valuable and is something we should all strive for. Time alone in your car doesn’t count — although it is heaven (especially if you resist the urge to talk on the phone and just turn on your music). I mean, quality time alone. That could be time meditating (remember on Seinfeld when Putty was on the airplane and he was just going to stare at the back of the seat? — that’s me.), or exercising, reading a book, playing an instrument, doing a hobby, etc. Something that you can call your own, and look forward to it.

I am in the process of turning my office in my house into a reading/yoga/meditation room for just this reason. I don’t have any place to go in my house that is a retreat. A place where I can shut the door and get some time alone. So my challenge to you is to find a place that belongs to you. Make it comfortable and welcoming and warm. If it is a workout space, get everything you need . . . stereo/tv/weights/mat/dvds don’t forget your Hot Mamas Conditioning workouts! On the wall, put pictures that motivate you, and poems or quotes that inspire; things that are unique to the woman that you are.

Once you have your space — then create space in your schedule for YOU!

10 things you must do to be a Hot Mama

1. Sleep

2. Find a hobby — something totally new.

3. Have a lot of sex

4. Spend time with friends  

5. Spend time alone 

6. Go on dates at least twice a month

7. Exercise almost every day

8. Play with your kids

9. Laugh a lot

10. Eat well — you are what you eat (Plan a weekly menu — and stick to it)

There’s something about Mary

My daughter turned 6 today. In my head this is a milestone. She is extremely independent and I feel like I can finally see the light at the end of the tunnel. I think back to 6 years ago tonight and remember the utter joy I had realizing that I had a daughter — someone to relate to, laugh with, cry with, shop with — just like in Terms of Endearment. Although a bit disfunctional (who isn’t?), a relationship that I would love to have with my daughter.

Teadora is fearless, open, a lover of everyone and everything. She is cool. This year she asked for a lizard for her birthday. Yuck. But I went ahead and approved the gift. We went to the local reptile store — a freakshow for sure and a hangout for many who are definitely on probation — nestled between a 7-11 and a pawn shop. You get the picture. My daughter forged through the tattooed, purple haired, pierced mob into the store. My son, looked at me and said “these people are freaks”. T didn’t notice and went straight into the store and began looking for bearded dragons — the birthday reptile.

First of all, animals with scales freak me out. Then, pair that with the toothless, tall and scary dude who was showing them to us and I was totally grossed out. Here’s what I love about youth and innocence — my daughter didn’t even notice. I find it so interesting that she didn’t judge his looks — and looked him straight in the eye when they were talking.

I have a lot to learn at 42. Sometimes when you see a person who “grosses you out” or makes you think certain judgmental thoughts — don’t you think how glad you are that you are not them? I know I do — I’m not proud of it, but it’s true. But my little girl sees the person behind the material stuff — she sees their heart — something we should all try to do more often. She may only be 6, but she’s years beyond me.

And Mary? That’s what she named her lizard.

Happy Birthday Teadora.

Hot Mamas on the news

OK, I admit it. I love being on tv. It’s just fun. Although I do have a Bobby Brady moment before I actually feel like I’m making any sense. (If you don’t get this reference, then you are too young). Plus I’m amazed how small the studio actually is in comparison to what it looks like on t.v.

So we had the priveledge of being on 9News in Denver for a workout segement. Susie Wargin is adorable and I was thrilled that she asked us to demonstrate some moves from my DVD. The girls were looking hot as usual and we were pumped. I just had them do some butt exercises (because that’s all women like to do) and I threw in some pushups to impress the viewers. All in all I think it went well.

Here it is. Notice the veins in my neck . . . I need to do some serious stretching.

http://www.9news.com/rss/article.aspx?storyid=100332

Being a Hot Mama in the kitchen

I remember when I had my son . . . I decided I was going to be the perfect mother. I started reading Martha (still do), kept the house spotless, made elaborate dinners most evenings. Next, comes child #2 — I had just moved to Denver, had classes and clients all over town and was schlepping most of the day. I admit to stopping at McDonald’s often during that time, and once getting home late at night — eating some bizarre combinations of foods after my kids were asleep. My favorite was edamame and french fries.

The difference in making good and bad choices is all in the planning and tools. Find a couple monthly cooking magazines that you love. (The beauty of these is they have fresh ideas every month about the food that is currently in season).

Then pick your day to shop — mine’s Sunday morning. Take out the magazine and any other recipe books that you like and pick about 4-5 meals. You figure the other 2-3 days will be leftovers, going out, or pizza night (we have pizza every Friday night). Try to pick recipes that are easy to make within 30 minutes — without too many crazy ingredients. I usually pick one meal that has a more expensive cut of meat and might take a little longer. The rest are more simple.

Next, make your list. Section it off by where you find those ingredients in the store — so you’re in the store for a shorter time. I can get in and out of Whole Foods in 30 minutes if I have a plan.

Bring the groceries home and put them away. Wash the vegetables and fruit right away and trim off ends of vegetables — things you won’t be using. This keeps the vitamins where you want them. Separate meats if you buy family packs into single packets for easy defrosting.

When it’s time to make dinner, pour yourself a glass a wine and get started. If you have children bugging you for a snack — I put out a few vegetables and some cheese and that’s it. I figure if they do fill up a little on that at least it was healthy.

Enjoy and let me know how you do.

We are all sheep

I miss New York. Here’s why — it’s not taken over by malls and chain stores (except for the tourist areas). Here in my fishbowl city called Denver, everyone shops at the same stores. Hence, we all look the same. Yes, you have the internet, but I hate shopping on the internet. There’s no satisfaction. I need that rush that I get when I walk into a store and see all the pretty things calling to me.

Same thing with hair and makeup. What has happened to our creativity? It’s just hair, people. It grows. I have a client who said she loves having short hair but doesn’t want to look butch, her husband likes long hair, and she doesn’t want to be the only girl without long hair. Why not? First of all, who cares if she is butch — But why not make a statement — take a stand. If more women cut their hair maybe we would see just how attractive it is and that we should do what we want with our hair and stop trying to please the man.

Seriously. We are all starting to look like clones.

Taking Care of the girls

I have small breasts. I’ve always liked them — been fine with the size and shape. But after breast-feeding both of my children 9 months each, they are looking a bit tired. Not only that but I have a permanent nipple erection — some would think that would be great, but it’s not.

My mother always said to wear a bra, and I still don’t as much as I should — especially when I run. I can’t stand the pressure on my ribs and even the way the straps pull down on my shoulders. I can only imagine if I were actually holding up some real weight in that bra. Plus, I haven’t been able to find any bras that work for my size other than a few that are just cute and actually don’t do much.

Which brings me to the bra issue. With so many women on this planet, why is it so hard to find a good sports bra? Seriously. I feel like it’s one of those things once again that a man has been designing all these years. So in my search, I’ve come accross a few bras that I like lately plus an article that I just read in runner’s world that might help some of you on the endless quest for a great bra to workout in.

Lululemon has some great bras for all sizes of breasts. www.lululemon.com and Title 9 actually has a sports bra that is also a nursing bra http://www.titlenine.com/shopping/product/detailmain.jsp?itemID=2314&itemType=PRODUCT&iMainCat=674&iSubCat=675&iProductID=2314   The runner’s world article is geared more toward runners: http://www.runnersworld.com/cda/special/0,7889,s6-240-470-0-0,00.html?cm_mmc=women-_-2008_09_03-_-women-_-GEAR%3a%20Technical%20Support

So at 42, I’m finally taking my mother’s advice and taking care of my girls — even though they are tiny. They are real and yes, they are spectacular.

Be a little selfish, please.

You know I work with moms all day long. And fairly often we talk about life as a mom, etc. One new theme that keeps on popping up is the guilt that comes from asking for a little time for yourself away from kids. I’m not understanding why husbands don’t see the importance of allowing their wives to have some alone time.

It is essential for all people to have time alone to regenerate. And especially the stress that comes from being a mom requires that we have a little “me time” so as not to get ourselves put in a home.

The idea that we are actually “asking” for time is appalling enough. I don’t mean to go all Gloria Steinem on you, but this really chaps my hide.

If this sounds like a situation you are going through, then you need to make a schedule that includes some time set aside to nurture yourself. This could mean going for a run or going to the gym, spending time with friends, getting a wax, going to the library, shoe shopping, whatever. Doing something that give you some much needed time for yourself. Even if it is running errands.

Studies show that women who are able to have some alone time are much more patient, content and PRESENT. This benefits your husband too. We are much more able to give to our families when we have had a chance to revive ourselves.

So the next time you hesitate to find some time for yourself because it seems selfish, remember that it’s actually not selfish at all. And your family will come to encourage it because they will see how good it makes you!